Funny Birthday Quotes

Funny Birthday Quotes

Funny birthday quotes always make for a good fun birthday. check out these birthday quotes below. they were collected from free online birthday quotes sites. These funny birthday quotes should only be given to people who can take a Joke. Don’t ruin someone birthday with a funny birthday quote they did not think was so funny. Feel free to share the smiles :) or personalize quotes into your own birthday quotes saying. These quotes can be used as birthday wishes for a friend.Fell free to add your own funny Birthday quotes in the comments.

Birthday Quotes 

Funny birthday quotes top 90


1.Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

2. Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

birthday quotes for friends

3. Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.

4. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that hepeople who have the most live the longest.

5. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

6. Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age

7. My wife hasn’t had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of …………. Lord-only-knows

8. Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.

9. About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.

10. For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.

11. Thirty five is a very attractive age; The World is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.

12. Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

13. Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.

14. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

15• Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.

16. After 30, a body has a mind of its own.

17• If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.

18• I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

19• Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, ‘Happy Birthday’.

20• Looking fifty is great – if you’re sixty.

funny birthday quotes Funny Birthday quotes are quotes are always funny when you can is it personal

21• The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.

22• Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

23• Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

24• People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

25• The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.

26• When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

27• Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.

28• If I’d known I was going to live this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.

29• There is still no cure for the common birthday.

30• You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.

31• To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.

32• Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirement home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?” Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!”“Really? like a newborn baby?”“Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!

33. I would tell you  give you a funny birthday quotes but you lived long enough to hear every one.

34• You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar…….. Yung No Mo

35• Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.

36• I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!

37• I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.

Make a funny Card then place put some funny birthday quotes inside !!

38• You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!

39• You think your special JUST because it’s your birthday today…No way you’re special every day!!!

40• How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday

41• I cant believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!

42• There are 3 kinds of people in the world…those who can count and those who can’t.

43• So far, this is the oldest I have ever been.

44• I was planning to put a gorgeous, awesome present in your cake…

45…But I didn’t want any frosting on my hair!

46• Kids wish to be older, adults wish to be younger.

47• Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

48• The best way of staying young is lying about your age.

49• You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!.

50• When asked how old I am I reply, “Old enough to know better, and young enough to do it again!”

51• Something to remember on your birthday..Forget the past, it can’t be changed..And, forget the present because I didn’t get you one.

52• Without birthdays we wouldn’t know how much makeup to put on in the morning.

53• Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath.

54• I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

Funny birthday quotes should make you laugh not cry so be careful when using these funny birthday quotes

55• You know you’re getting old when you can’t remember how old you are!

56• It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

57• It’s better to be over the hill than 6 feet under it!

58• When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half…. forget that, after I finally learned to talk, my parents were telling me to shut up.

59• Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

60• The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.birthday quotes

61I’m just here for the cake.

62• Age doesn’t matter unless you’re a piece of cheese.

63• Birthdays are God’s way of telling us to eat more cake.

64• A toast to you! May you live to be as old as you look!

65• Of course you’re not old! You aren’t very young either.

66• Act your age not your shoe size.

67• “Happy Birthday” is normally what people tell you every year, but it’s more like “Congrats! You’re officially one year closer to being dead! Good for you!”

68• . Birthday – It is a day when you will be happy for wasting one more year.

• Happy Birthday, have fun and just remember you’re only as young as you look so therefore you better have as much fun as you can and quick!

69• As you slide down the bannister of life… may the splinters never point the wrong way.

70• Birthdays are like girlfriends, they come and go-unless you enjoy them.


72• May you grow to be toothless! Happy Birthday

73• Birthdays: Keep doing them every year and one day you’ll wake very old.

74. Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit…. but check it for wrinkles first!

75• I can’t remember being born..but my mother assures me that i was.

76• Your mental age is inversely proportional to your physical age.

77• Every year someone asks me “What are you doing for your birthday?” and every year I say “turning Older

78What goes up but never comes down?Your age lets hope that’s not the case with your cholesterol.!!!! 

79. Happy birthday. Have fun and just remember you’re only as young as you look so therefore you better have as much fun as you can and quick!!

80• They say the older you get the more respect you get.So I just want you to know I have all the respect in the world for you!

81• Old age is when you reverse your car from your driveway into your neighbor’s swimming pool across the road and believe it was the car’s fault and not yours.

82• You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired

83• People say that the good die young, so i guess that’s make you a old bad azz

84• Celebrating another birthday means another year closer to seeing God’s face. Or that others guys

85• If you had a birthday for every girl who stopped and stared……you my friend would be in nursery.

86• OMG!!!! It’s your birthday! Have a blast and I hope you enjoy your day. P.S Try not to think about your age. LOL :)  

87• It’s proven that at the age 41 you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!

88• Happy birthday grandpa you’re getting older every second I see you.

funny birthday quotes are funny only if the other person can take a joke or in this case some funny birthday quotes.

89• The secret to staying young is to eat slowly, live honestly, and lie about your age.

90• The more birthdays you celebrate, the lesser days you have to the grave.

Leave some Funny Birthday Quotes

Did you enjoy our funny Birthday quotes we collected for you.. if so be creative and leave a birthday quote in the comments. If you can’t think of one comment on your Favorite funny birthday day quotes below. These are great for showing love on someones wall on Facebook. be original and like us to share !!

Birthday Messages Birthday quotes for freinds



5 comments on “Funny Birthday Quotes

  1. on said:

    knock knock … Who is it ? …. Nacho…. Nacho who ? … It’s NA-CHO Birthday … LOL

  2. james on said:

    happy bursting out your mommy belly day

  3. roppets on said:

    LOL first of all, this site caught my eye because my nick name in high school is Nacho. And I can’t imagine that there’s a site name like that. It’s awesome!

    Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age – i like this reminded me of what my brother told me during my birthday – you’re not getting older, you’re getting better!!!

  4. Roxanne on said:

    I think you should get out that red bra you have had for year’s , along with those crotch less underwear and wear them today ,I mean what Birthday have you been saving them for anyway? Happy 83rd Birthday Grandpa Max!

  5. Roxanne on said:

    Grandma will never know! I promise, Love you Pops
    Little Jimmy

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